


remember us (if at all)

by Morte_Sangriz



Series: remember us (if at all) [1]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Butterfly Effect, Child Neglect, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, I say enemies cuz Risa sure dislikes Tsuna rn, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23295394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morte_Sangriz/pseuds/Morte_Sangriz
Summary: Who will remember the children lost to the violence of the society's underbelly- the children born into family's painted with violence, if not for those who got out alive?All she wanted to do was escape with her brother. All she wanted to do was see her brother grow up free from all the bloodshed. Instead, she was trapped in a famiglia that was to be led by a coward; faced with a person she had thought long gone from her past; allowed to stay by the mercy of a demon in a baby's body.All she wanted to do was survive long enough to be remembered. If only life had wanted the same.
Relationships: Sawada Tsunayoshi/Original Female Character(s)
Series: remember us (if at all) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675312
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	1. Memory 1

**Author's Note:**

> New fic! New fic! I did something productive while in quarantine. 
> 
> (As if I don't know how many I have to work on lolol)
> 
> Anyhow, this is one of the most self-indulgent things I've decided to write and it's been sitting in my docs for a good minute so I just decided to post it. I always tend to love the main protagonist of stories, so it hurts to see that there's not much fic for these precious characters. I decided to be the change I wanted to see in the world.   
> (Aka. if you want to see a very specific kinda fic, you gotta do that shit yourself ;-;)
> 
> I don't have a beta so plz don't judge me too hard.   
> Lemme know what y'all think of this fic, I know this fandom is kinda dead lol ;-;

“ _ What do you mean he’s gone? _ ” She shouted in outraged Italian. “ _ Where would a five year old boy have to go!? _ ” Her fingers clenched dangerously around the butt of her gun. There was a smear of red across her cheek, forgotten and overlooked by the sheer rage that twisted her face into a near snarl. 

The maids cowered in the wake of her fury, eyes cast downward and lips struggling to shape the answer the Young Lady of the house sought from them. The truth was that in the rare silence of that had fallen over the mansion at the Young Lord’s leave- the staff had basked in the small lapse of peace instead of worry too much about what had become of their youngest master.

It wasn’t often that the toddler stayed quiet, not unless he had fallen asleep or wandered off; and nobody wanted to ruin the momentary calm by asking too many questions. Faced by the indescribable wrath of the Young Lord’s older sister though, that decision was looking like it had been a horrible mistake.

“ _ Are any of you capable of speaking or am I wasting my time asking you about where the boy _ **_you were all in charge of watching_ ** _ has disappeared to?”  _ She asked in a voice that wasn’t quite a growl but very close to one. It dripped with fury. 

An older woman stepped forward, knobbly fingers twisting anxiously in the fabric of her apron. Her wizened face was crinkled in fear. There was a bead of sweat on her forehead. “ _ I heard the Young Lord tell Master Bovino that he was leaving on a mission and wouldn’t return until he completed it. He must have been unaware of your arrival today, Lady Risa.” _

“ _ You’re telling me that my uncle sanctioned a mission for my five year old brother to complete on his own? The same brother who in his short life hasn’t taken on a single job without assistance?” _

The maid trembled.  _ “Yes, my Lady.” _

“ _ I see, _ ” Risa said and smiled. It wasn’t a kind smile. There were far too many teeth in it for it to look like anything but the baring of teeth. Far too much poison for it to be anything but a threat. It was sharp in the way daggers were right before they slit your throat. Dangerous. Brimming with the potential for murder. 

“ _ I’ll have to speak to him about this  _ **_misunderstanding_ ** _. If I didn’t know any better then it would almost seem as if he wanted to send my brother away.” _ Her fingers twitched on her weapon. The mere thought of her brother in danger sunk her heart into her stomach as if instead of flesh and blood, it were crafted from lead. It made her mouth taste like ash. 

“ _ I don’t know what you’re waiting for,”  _ She stared at the frozen maids with a brow raised, contempt dripping from her gaze, “ _ Shouldn’t you be packing supplies and luggage- preparing what I need to pursue my brother? Or have you forgotten that part of your job as well?”  _

The staff burst into motion at her words, nearly mowing each other down in their haste to repack the luggage she had just dropped off in her room. It wasn’t their fault, she told herself, swallowing down the worst of the scathing words that burnt like coals on her tongue. She turned away from them with purposeful strides, trying to focus on the mental checklist of the things she needed to prepare before she left once more. 

“ _ How spoiled,”  _ someone muttered under their breath, and Risa came to a slow stop on the staircase. Cocking her head as the words registered in their entirety. The bustle of maids behind her fell silent, frozen in horror and shock at the comment spit at her- by one of their own even! 

The weight of the gun was heavy in her hand. Heavy with the metal, heavy with the death it had wrought. Still, it was much too easy to spin on her heel and pull the trigger, aiming right where the voice had come from with pinpoint precision. Splinters erupted the wooden panels besides the maid, a young blonde woman who gasped and went frighteningly pale. 

“ _ Spoiled?”  _ She murmured in a deceptively calm voice. Risa’s gaze, the same shade as her brother’s with a harder edge to them, cut into every person she had been addressing, drawing a flinch and a terrified whimper from the maid. There was a darkness in them that was only present when it came to a danger to her youngest sibling, the only remnant of the mother she could scarcely remember. A coldness that only thawed when Lambo was besides her. “ _ I suppose I am, aren’t I? ” _

_ “Forgive me, Lady Risa,”  _ the maid stammered out, dropping to her knees and bowing her head submissively, realizing the monstrous mistake she had just made, “ _ I apologize, I was out of turn. I don’t know what I was saying. Forgive me, please I-” _

“ _I have no interest in hearing your fake repenting.”_ Risa sighed, suddenly looking bored with what was happening. The hardness in her eyes, however, remained. She pointed the gun at the kneeling maid, watching for a moment at how she froze, eyes dripping tears, nose running, shaking badly enough that it reminded her of a small dog. 

She flicked her wrist to the side, gesturing with the gun.  _ “Get out of my sight.  _ **_Now_ ** _.”  _

The maid fled. Risa turned and continued up the stairs. 

Lord Bovino scrawled his signature across one of the many reports the Weapon’s Research Division had placed on his desk. The research on the 10-Year Bazooka was still ongoing and there seemed to be a lack of leads on how to extend the five minute limit the weapon had, or if the future was the only time that one could be sent into. He frowned. He had hoped that the influx of data being received from Lambo’s jaunt in Japan would be sufficient to make a breakthrough in the development of a solid theory on how to not only fiddle with the future, but the past as well. 

It had only been a month, so perhaps more time was needed before new data came to light. It was yet another thing to add to his list of growing concerns. The approaching date in which his niece was due to return from her mission was another. 

He restrained the urge to rub a hand across his face at the outrage he knew that his decision in regards to Lambo would bring. His niece was, in theory, the ideal mafia woman, protecting what was hers and becoming truly ruthless in destroying things that would bring harm to what she sought to defend. Absolute loyalty was commendable in the mafia, sought after by every famiglia to strengthen their own; and the thought of arranging a marriage between Risa and the member of prominent family had crossed his mind more than once. He had already been approached by smaller families trying to merge with his own via marriage, all who had eyes on the eldest of his dear sister's children. 

Although, Risa was nothing like Mirabela. She didn't have the delicate, trusting,  _ warm _ personality that her mother did, only the eyes that had been passed down to her and her brother, the curly black hair- and the face that was already beginning to resemble his sister enough that something twisted in his stomach at seeing her. She reminded him of what he had lost. She  _ looked  _ so much as Mirabela had at that age but…  _ wrong. _ Like an echo that wasn’t heard right, a sickening mockery of the sister he had sworn to keep safe, distorted and warped like a specter that looked like Mirabela but could never be her. 

It made him itch to see her- with his sister’s face and cold, cold eyes that seared through him whenever she was in the same room as him. It made him want to send her way and never let her come back, like he had her brother, like he would do to her if he didn’t simultaneously ache at never seeing Mirabela’s face on a living person again. 

He was trapped in a complexities of emotions in regards to his nephew and niece. And as always, he didn’t have the time to sort out those feelings without having another task thrust in his direction. Such was the life of a mafia boss, especially of a family as prone to experiments and explosions as the Bovino. 

The door to his office slammed open with enough force to crash into the wall behind it. Plaster flaked from the damaged wall and onto the carpet below. His bodyguards tensed and aimed their guns at the short figure in the doorway, who had eyes for only one person in the room. 

_ “ _ **_Where_ ** _ is my brother?”  _

And there lay a prime example of why he hadn’t been able to find a match for his niece. 

There was no one Risa Bovino was more loyal to than her brother. 

Not even him- her uncle, her boss, her  _ family. _

He handed the signed documents to the assistant waiting before his desk without looking away from the frigid glare of his niece. He sighed and gestured for the guards to lower their weapons. Having guns pointed at Risa usually just aggravated her more and he would like for at least  _ some _ part of his office to remain intact after she tore through it like the thunderstorm the underworld knew her as.

“ _ Your brother is out on a mission right now.” _

The girl snarled. “ _ He is  _ **_five years-old_ ** **.** _ ” _

_ “You were only a little older than him when you began your first missions,”  _ He stated tiredly. If he had known Risa was due to arrive today then he would have thought a little more about sending his nephew out to Japan or at least have delayed it until the next time Risa left on a long mission. He might have even sent her out on another mission straight away, without waiting for her to arrive home before sending her new orders. “ _ He’s the one that requested the mission to begin with.” _

_ “And you just let him go?”  _ His niece spat, hands fisted at her sides and mouth curving into a derisive sneer. Mirabela would have never let that expression cross her face. “ _ The Great Lord Bovino, bested by a toddler. The Concerned Uncle, unable to say no to a child.”  _

His own temper rose, sparking aflame as if the words directed at him were gasoline. “ _ Watch your tongue,  _ **_Niece_ ** _. You forget your place.”  _ Risa didn’t look the slightest bit surprised at his anger, instead she glided to his desk with all the grace of a predator and slammed her hands on the polished surface. Splintering cracks formed in the dark wood. 

The smell of gore and jasmine rolled off his niece and he couldn’t help but scowl in disgust. Had she even bothered to change out of her mission clothing before coming to see him? Did Risa really storm into his office without at least washing off the remnants of her mission? 

_ “I know my place quite well,  _ **_Uncle_ ** _. I’m the Bovino’s prodigy killer, the would-be heir turned into nothing more than a mare you want to auction off to the Famiglia willing to pay the highest price.”  _ Risa hissed, venom dripping from every word. “ _ Just like I know you’re obsessed with Mother, how you resent Lambo for looking more like our father. Just as I know that these missions you send me on are an excuse to keep me out of your way, so that Lambo and I don’t live long enough to contest your right to lead this family when we’re of age.” _

She leaned in close now, face inches apart from his and voice a near whisper.  _ “Just as I know you wouldn’t be behind that desk if you hadn’t let Mother die and-”  _

The slap surprised both of them. 

Then, in the blink of an eye, before he could open his mouth to say something- to apologize, to reprimand, to say  _ anything _ that would make what he had just done better- there was a knife pressed against his throat and his niece’s fingers clenched tightly around the hilt. Risa’s head was turned away from him, cheek already reddening and the corner of her lip split from the impact of his ring. Her face would most certainly bruise. Mirabela’s face, damaged by his own hand. 

His bodyguards cursed loudly and jumped into action, aiming their own weapons at the girl pressing the cold steel harder to her uncle’s neck without so much of a hint of concern. She wasn’t even looking at him, he thought and broke into a cold-sweat, as if being held at gunpoint for threatening the boss of her Famiglia wasn’t anything more than another mission she didn’t care enough to worry about.

She slowly turned her eyes in his direction, her profile shifting into a direct view.

“ _ Where is my brother?”  _ She said, repeating the question from earlier and pushing the knife hard enough to draw blood. Risa’s green eyes burned with icy rage and the smear of blood on her cheek stood out starkly in contrast. Her lips were still curled into a mocking smile, although sharper, showing more teeth. There was a film of blood from where she had cut her cheek on her teeth. 

She looked like the killer he had allowed her to be turned into. 

He had sent his sister’s eldest child to be dragged into the inky depths of the criminal underworld; a place where it wasn’t unusual for thirteen-year-old girl to kill others in the name of the mafia, or learn how to weave words that cut just as deeply as a blade- just because looking at the twisted familiarity of her face made him feel sick. Even as he couldn’t bring himself to send her entirely away because of just how much she looked like her mother at times. 

He had sent his nephew out on an impossible mission for the reasons he wouldn’t admit to himself. He didn’t want the boy dead, but simply out of his way- and the fact that he had received word from the legendary Reborn, himself, about his nephew meant that it was no longer his business to worry about. Confessing it felt like a betrayal to Mirabela, but the only person he was fooling was himself. 

“ _ In Japan,” _ He offered quietly, remorsefully staring at the swollen cheek he had caused with his own hands and the burning hatred he saw his niece’s eyes. Would he have ever raised his hand against his sister this way? No, never. “ _ His mission is to kill the Arcobaleno Reborn or else he cannot return back home.” _

Risa’s fingers twitched around the knife. 

“ _ What part of Japan?” _

_ “Namimori.” _

_ “Then that is where I will go as well,”  _ Risa said, lowering her weapon slowly enough that the bodyguards knew she was backing down. He had to verbally tell the guards to let her leave before they would fully lower their weapons. It wasn’t the first time Risa had come into his office to argue with him but it was the only time things had escalated this badly. The throb in his hand told him that he was just as guilty as she was. 

His niece was at the door when he called out to her, feeling in his gut that what happened here today had broken something between them that could not be fixed. “ _ Risa, niece, please… come back safe.” _

Risa paused. Her back was to him and he could see the faint trembling of her shoulders. For all the killer she was, for all the blood on her hands, he often forgot that she was just a child. She took a deep breath. He saw her back straighten. She tilted her head to the side enough that he could see her face. 

“ _ Yeah, okay, whatever,” _ She said and walked away.

He buried his face in his hands and tried not to think about how much like her mother Risa had looked in those final seconds before leaving- walking away from him for what felt like the last time. 

He peered at the telephone on his desk through his fingers, considering, emotions churning inside him that nearly made him reach out and dial  _ that _ number. He could stop everything right here, stop it from continuing and bring his niece back home, where she belonged instead of chasing her brother down half-way across the world. He just had to make that single call and-

- _ “She already loves Lambo so much,” Mirabela laughed, watching as Risa carried her brother on her back and showed him around the garden, chattering happily about the flowers to the infant, who gurgled in delight, “It makes me so happy, that they have each other.” She turned her warm gaze at him, “It reminds me of us, don’t you think?”- _

What would Mirabela think of him now? What would she think of him if she knew what he had been thinking; if she knew that with a phone call he could ensure that Risa wouldn’t see her brother again? The thought of her made him feel ill. 

His hand fell away from the receiver, thudding softly on the desk. 

He didn’t make the call.

* * *

_ Oh, but in another world, his hand was not stayed.  _

_ (This changes things.) _

_ In another world, his sister did not cross his mind, nor did the memory that swayed his heart from its choice. He picked up that phone without guilt, and changed the gears of fate with a single call. _

_ In another world, Lord Bovino did not let his niece slip away, and the leash that dragged her back home hardened her- changed her into something colder, into something with hard edges and bloody teeth.  _

_ (Not even her brother would recognize her then.) _

_ Oh, in another world, another time, another life- Risa Bovino did not escape. _

* * *

The airplane was filled with people that thankfully knew how to keep their mouths shut. 

It was a quiet flight, the second one she had boarded from Italy. It was odd that there was a flight to the town of Namimori to begin with, but Risa knew better than to question things she would be better off not knowing. Whatever the reason for an airport existing in a place that lacked the intrinsic aspects of a tourist town, Risa wanted nothing to do with it. It would most likely be linked to the underworld, anyway.

Plus, she had more important things to think about. 

She hadn’t really planned what she was going to do after she found Lambo. Sure, she had plenty of hard earned money from the various missions she had completed with this very purpose in mind; but there was something distinctly more terrifying about actually putting her plots in motion. 

She had known that one day she would take Lambo and run as far as she could. 

She had dreamed about it even, between the deafening sound of gunshots and her heart being the only one left beating in a room, between the months without seeing her brother and fearing that she would grow to forget what his smile was like. Risa had dreamed about finally having the chance to take her brother away from the too empty Bovino mansion and from her uncle who cared only for the dead sister he couldn’t save, not the children she had died to protect. 

Now, with the only thing between Lambo and Risa’s chance at freedom being the distance that Risa was traveling across an ocean to lessen- she was afraid that somehow it wouldn’t be enough. 

The plane touched down just before her mind was able to sink into the same thoughts that had haunted her the entire plane ride from Italy. 

_ How would she take care of Lambo when she had no idea how to even take care of herself? _

Risa groaned and fiddled with the earrings on her right ear. 

She just had to figure it out, whether she was ready or not. This was her shot at finally taking care for her little brother the way she had promised their mother years ago and she refused to mess it up. 

By the time she was finally out of the airport, the sun was midway across the sky and Risa was realizing just how little she had thought ahead for this trip. 

She had brought enough weapons to supply a small militia as well as plenty of clothing for both herself and Lambo. She was thankful that a lot of Lambo’s clothing fit in her luggage since they were smaller and easier to pack; even if the boy’s outfits seemed to consist purely of cow print  _ everything _ . Unfortunately, she hadn’t thought to bring any of her art supplies, so the pieces she  _ had  _ been in the middle of working on were now lost to her. At least until she could break into the mansion and smuggle them out, along with the other things she hadn’t considered bringing or telling the maids to pack. Well, it was that or wait until she at least had enough money to buy what she needed; hopefully with a job that didn’t include shooting people in the face, or stabbing them in the throat. 

Risa sighed and took a look at the town where she had followed her brother. For a place that was said to be the current residence of the Greatest Hitman in the World, there was nothing particularly impressive about Namimori.

It was considerably smaller than she expected, although more like a budding city than a quaint town. The quiet air didn’t bother her much either, considering that the Bovino main mansion was located on the outskirts of Florence, rather than amidst the bustling city. The architecture leaned more to the side of modern but it wasn’t necessarily a bad look for such a small place. 

Risa stared at the familiar way that people exiting the airport greeted the pedestrians making their way along the street and held back a shudder at the fact that everyone seemed to know each other here. 

Places like these gave her the creeps. Risa didn’t like it when people would talk about her. Knowledge was a dangerous thing to allow to spread so freely. If she really thought about it, maybe that's why the Arcobaleno was residing here. There was something about the gossip of small towns that served as a truly formidable way to gather information about anything out of place. She was sure that by sundown, her arrival- as a clear non-native of this country with no one awaiting her at the airport- would be gossip all over the town. 

Risa sighed and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, hearing the chain dangling from one of the two piercings on her lower right earlobe rattle against itself. She worked her lip between her teeth and randomly settled on a single direction to walk towards, aware that standing on the sidewalk like an idiot simply made her stand out even more. Her footsteps made no sound on the ground below, even with the steel toed boots that she wore. 

The airport quickly settled into the distance behind her. 

Risa scowled as she made another turn into another street that looked identical to the previous ones from earlier. She wasn't going to admit it aloud but she was hopelessly lost. It seemed that whenever she thought she would find herself out of the suburbs and into an area where she could find a cheap motel to rent, she would end up right where she had begun. 

It was frustrating. She didn't have time to waste on dumb shit like this, she had to find Lambo as soon as possible. She needed to see her brother after months away from him. It was the only way to calm the itch under her skin. Otherwise, it felt as she was going insane. Although, it kind of already felt that way.

Risa passed another house that looked the same as the last one and felt her eye twitch. 

“ _ I really should ask for directions, _ ” She muttered to herself in Italian and looked up to the sky in despair. She hefted her duffel bag higher on her shoulder and eased her grip on the handle of her suitcase before she left dents in the metal. She had to calm down before she broke something. “ _ Why is this place such a freaking maze? It’s supposed to be a small town. _ ”

She paused and scanned her surroundings for something that might show her where she was. 

There! It looked like an exit! Maybe she would finally escape this residential hell after all. 

As she walked, Risa couldn’t seem to shake the anxiety that clung to her when her brother crossed her mind once more. It had been months since she had last seen him. With every long mission that separated them, that forced Risa away from her little brother- she was terrified that a day would come in which Lambo wouldn’t remember who she was. 

It was a fear that always lingered in the forefront of her mind. 

Her feet led out her of the suburban labyrinth and right in front of a tall building. She cocked her head at it in bewilderment. It didn’t look as if there were any motels here either. The streets were empty as well, so it wasn’t as if she could simply as anyone for directions either. 

She sighed and smoothed down her skirt, making sure it wasn’t wrinkled and did the same to the green shirt she had neatly tucked in. She shook out her curls and stared at the school building for a moment longer, casting her eyes at her surroundings one final time before letting out a heavy breath. She had no idea how to find her way around this town. 

She was going to have to ask someone for directions, wasn't she?

There was a sign right besides the entryway that read  _ Namimori Middle School _ . It confirmed her theory that it was a school. Although, it was for children her age and not younger ones like she had imagined at first. The school was tan and sat tall before her with the wings of the school sweeping to both sides of the main building. Each wing was dotted with windows, giving her a clear sight to some of the classrooms and the occasional student sitting in the desks closest to the windows. 

She stepped through the gates and walked towards the building, noticing a giant clock hanging right over the entrance of the school. The grounds were deserted which was odd. Usually every school had its rebels, the ones that skipped classes and loitered during school hours but she couldn’t see here any at all. Maybe Japan was different enough that there was a lack of delinquents. 

_ Or  _ maybe they had better hiding places than in plain view of anyone entering the premises. 

Risa walked into the building with only minor hesitation. She was an obvious foreigner and wanted to avoid as much attention as she could but she needed directions before she could move on with her plans. Her feet glided over the polished linoleum without making a single sound, a habit left over from the long missions where silence was the only way to stay alive. 

She nearly bumped into someone as she rounded the corner a hallway. The boy was older than her, a teenager to her budding adolescence. He stood a head taller than her and wore what she figured was the school uniform or at least a variant of it- considering she didn’t think that a gakuran draped over the shoulders of all the students would be a very professional look. He looked more like a mini Yakuza boss than a student, but she looked like a delinquent herself so she had no room to judge anyone else’s fashion sense.

“Ah, my bad.” She said, inclining her head slightly in apology but not taking her eyes off the boy. There was something about the way he was staring at her; about the way his eyes methodically took her in; that made her nerves tingle in warning. 

A loud bell rang through the school, signaling the end the current classes. Classroom doors were pushed open and students began spilling out into the hallway without second thought. They froze upon seeing the boy in front of her and peered at the Yakuza-looking boy in fear. 

The boy’s eyes were intense as he looked down at her. Risa met them unflinchingly. “Herbivore, for being out of uniform during school hours, I’ll bite you to death.”

Risa cocked her head. “Is that a threat?”

The tonfa came out of nowhere, swung sideways towards her head. 

She acted on instinct, dropping everything in her hands and bending her body backwards, avoiding the blow to her temple while planting her hands firmly on the ground besides her head- kicking her legs up swiftly. Her steel-toed boot slammed straight into her attacker’s chin, hard enough for his teeth to  _ clack _ together painfully. She did a quick handspring away and landed on her feet smoothly. 

Around her the whispered conversations of the students loitering in their classrooms came to a screeching halt. Risa didn’t say anything. Her hands were loose at her sides but in her chest, her heart pounded quickly. She waited for the boy to look up at her, from where he raised the back of his hand to wipe the dribbling of blood away from the corner of his lips. There was silence as he pulled back his hand, staring at the red smear on his skin.

A sharp smile cut across his face. It was bloodthirsty.

Then, he lunged.


	2. Memory 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsuna meets Risa in... less than optimal circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update cuz I'm impatient and have it prewritten anyway.

There was a crowd hovering just before the doorway, peering out into the hall. Voices clambered over each other, making Tsuna wince as the sound crested at whatever was going on outside the classroom. Reborn had struck him with a mallet that morning for waking up late and the screams and cheers of his classmates just reminded him of how much his head hurt. He just wanted to go back to sleep. 

As the sounds grew once again, Tsuna winced and pressed a hand to his forehead. 

Almost immediately, a loud shout cut through the overlapping voices, “Tenth! Are you alright!?”

“Yeah, of course! It’s just a small headache, that’s all.” Tsuna reassured quickly, worried that Gokudera would do something ridiculous in an overprotective rage. Tsuna turned to look at Gokudera as he quickly weaved between the desks toward him, catching the way that the bomber’s fingers twitched towards his pockets and how his eyes flicked to the screaming of the excited crowd in realization. 

Gokudera’s eyes narrowed at something behind him and before Tsuna could react, Yamamoto had slung an arm around his shoulder with a laugh. Gokudera was practically foaming at the mouth at the action. 

“You’re looking a bit tired Tsuna,” The baseball player said with a smile, “Have a late night?”

Tsuna sighed and thought back to the nightly assassination attempts Lambo had attempted since moving into his house. Last night was full of snapping awake every time a sleeping Reborn struck Lambo away hard enough to leave a dent in his bedroom wall. He had to shush a crying Lambo every time he got smacked away or else the sound might have woken his mother, or even worse,  _ Reborn. _ Although, how neither of them woke up to the thud of Lambo hitting the wall remained a mystery to that very moment.

“I guess you could say that. Lambo kept me up pretty late,” Tsuna sighed, rubbing the back of his head, “Reborn woke me up early this morning too, so I haven’t gotten very good sleep.” 

“Tenth, that’s not good!” Gokudera exclaimed as he shoved Yamamoto’s arm off his shoulder with a fierce glower at the other boy, “You need to get eight hours of sleep every day so you’ll be at your healthiest!”

The crowd in the hallway let out a loud gasp, the voices of many mingling together to make the sound stronger. It swelled to an unbearable pitch before falling to an unnatural silence. 

“Dame Tsuna,” Reborn said, appearing out of nowhere to perch on Tsuna’s head like some sort of deranged bird. “Go see what’s happening.”

“Eeeh?” He squeaked, peering at the mob around the door with trepidation. 

“Tenth, what if it’s dangerous!?”

“Don’t worry, Gokudera,” Yamamoto chuckled, placing his arm on Tsuna’s shoulder once more, “We’ll go with him just in case.” 

“If anything happens,  _ I’ll _ be the one to keep the Tenth safe. You can go and give us time to get away.”

“Aww, don’t be like that, Gokudera.” 

The sound of voices crested once more, the cacophony of whispers surging up with astounded gasps and shocked muttering. It made Tsuna’s heart race in his chest, an anxiety of the unknown making itself present in his chest and almost making him stay frozen in his spot. But the weight of Reborn on his head was a threat of its own and Tsuna could only force himself to swallow dryly and shakily sigh, “I don’t have a choice do I?”

He got a pat on his hair as a reward. “Maybe you’re not so Dame, after all.” 

Yamamoto gave him a grin before tugging him forward, to the exclaimed dismay of Gokudera. “Let’s go see what’s going on, yeah Tsuna?” The sound of his complaint was drowned out and together, the four of them- including Reborn- made their way toward the source of the chaos. 

And when they saw it, even Yamamoto fell silent by his side. 

There was a girl being beat up by Hibari just outside his classroom. 

“Hieee!?” Tsuna screeched after scrubbing at his eyes to make sure he wasn’t just seeing things. But, still, even his denial wasn’t enough to erase the same thing that everyone gazing into the hallway was witnessing. 

The girl held herself carefully, a single hand hovering over her ribs with a faint grimace twisting her lips. Her eyes were hard emeralds, ones that didn’t leave Hibari-san despite the crowd that grew around them both. There was blood on her face, from a lip split open, from a gash in her hairline. Although, there were splotches of already bruising skin on her legs, raw scrapes on both of her knees that showed this fight wasn't going her way. The large bruise on her cheek, on the other hand, didn’t look as fresh as her other injuries, which meant she had already had it before jumping into this fight.

Not that Tsuna expected anything else, nobody fought Hibari-san and won.

Something in his chest twinged. Why was the poor girl so beat up? What was she doing trying to fight Hibari-san to  _ begin  _ with?

She leapt towards Hibari-san, fist flying forward fast and hard toward his face. Hibari-san moved out of the way of her blow effortlessly, swinging his tonfa and almost landing a vicious strike on her arm. She barely managed to jerk it back in time. 

She panted, trying to catch her breath as another swipe came at her face. She ducked, the tonfa missing her head by inches, raising her elbow and jabbing it into the closest part of him she could reach- which, considering her limbs didn't have nearly as much reach as Hibari-san's, meant she had to throw herself into the motion as well, digging her elbow in his stomach with a solid  _ thud _ .

A satisfied gleam shone in her eyes for a second, but then a tonfa blurred through the air- colliding with the side of her cheek, snapping her face to the side and knocking her flat to the ground. 

The crowd of students gasped and winced sympathetically, some of the girls raising their hands to their cheeks with a grimace. Tsuna could understand, he’d been hit by Hibari-san before and it was something that he had no desire to experience again. 

She lay there stunned, head bowed and dripping blood onto the corridor floor. Slowly, she raised her head, clearly dazed by the hit. Her cheek was already bruising, swelling an angry shade of red to match the bluish tint of the bruise on her other cheek. She shook her head a little, as if doing so would clear the ringing the blow must have sent through her ears. 

Hibari-san twirled his tonfa in his hands, “You’ll need to do better than that, herbivore.”

“Did you hear me ask for your opinion?” The girl snapped in accented Japanese, sluggishly pushing herself up on her feet. She swayed in place, taking a heaving, labored breath, before adding a venomous, “ _ Bastard,” _ in what Tsuna could now recognize as Italian. 

“What is  _ she  _ doing here?” Gokudera breathed, eyes wide and mouth open in surprise. 

“You know her, Gokudera?” Yamamoto asked, tilting his head to the side and not looking away from the brawl. Tsuna was also curious about his friend’s answer, though the thoughtful hum from Reborn sent his heart into overdrive. There was no doubt that Reborn knew who that girl was. The question was whether he’d decide to share the information or not. 

“Thunderstorm Risa,” Gokudera said and there was an edge to his words, an unspoken thing made Tsuna feel like there was a long story behind the connection the two seemed to share. “The prized heir of the Bovino famiglia.”

“Hiee!? Another hitman?” He screeched, before the words fully sinking in. “Wait… Bovino?”

“Yes, Dame Tsuna.” Reborn said, “Risa Bovino is Lambo’s older sister.”

“Hiiiiee!!?”

“Oh wow, I didn’t know that kid had a sister.” Yamamoto laughed, “She sure doesn’t know how to give up, huh? It’s kinda cool isn’t it?”

“It’s freakier than it is cool,” Tsuna muttered, looking at the way the girl, Risa-  _ Lambo’s sister- _ curled and bent out of Hibari-san’s attacks, lunging forward whenever there was an opening even though landing her own blow usually resulted in her taking a direct hit from one of the tonfas swinging in her direction. She was taking more damage than she was giving out. Hibari-san didn't look ruffled- uniform pristine and crisp while she looked like a bloody, beaten mess in comparison. 

“It’d be better if she stopped fighting, that way she wouldn’t get so beat up.”

“She’s not going to stop,” Gokudera said, a scowl on his face and hands shoved deeply into his pockets, “She’ll stop when she’s unconscious but until then, she won’t stop at all.”

“I take it, you’ve had previous encounters with Thunderstorm Risa then?” Reborn questioned. 

Gokudera nodded his head, expression hard and eyes tight. “I’ve worked with her once or twice,” was all he said, but by the sudden glint in Reborn’s eyes, it wasn’t the last time the subject would be broached.

By now, the students in the halls were quiet, staring in abject horror as Hibari-san’s tonfas collided with Risa’s body with solid thuds and how instead of backing down, the girl muffled the pained cries that managed to escape her, standing on wobbly feet and bracing herself to attack once more. Tsuna was one of the many frozen in shock at her perseverance- though, he felt sick to his stomach at watching Lambo’s sister get beaten down again and again. 

“She’s going to get herself killed,” Gokudera grit out, mouth pressed in a firm line but eyes flashing with worry at the thought. “That asshole isn’t the kind to stop until she stays down and she’s not the kind to stay down.”

“I’m sure Hibari-san wouldn’t do something like that,” Yamamoto reassured, although by the sharp look in his eyes as he watched Risa barely avoid a tonfa, he wasn’t entirely convinced. 

“Dame Tsuna,” Reborn began, and his blood froze in his veins. Whatever Reborn was going to suggest wasn’t going to end well for him. “Go help her.”

“Hiiiee!? Why would I do that!?” He cried, jumping away from the fight and pressing himself against the closest wall. “Hibari-san looks like he’s having fun! He’ll kill me if I interrupt!”

“A good mafia boss should never leave a lady in distress,” Reborn said, “You’re going to help her, otherwise,” raising his voice loud enough to carry to the brawling pair, “I’ll tell Mamma that you threw Lambo at the wall last night.”

Risa twitched and as she narrowly avoided a tonfa swipe, her gaze, brilliant green and  _ furious _ , turned in the direction of Reborn’s voice. She took a single step forward, threatening and outraged, towards them- hands clenched at her sides in shaking fists and radiating a wave of anger so potent that the students around them flinched back upon meeting her burning eyes. 

“ _ What!?  _ I’ve never done something like that!” Tsuna screeched, “And  _ please _ lower your voice, people are going to get the wrong idea!”

“But Tsuna,” Reborn said with an innocent voice, “There’s a dent in your wall in the shape of Lambo!”

“You did  _ what _ to Lambo!?” Risa shouted, all signs of exhaustion washing away until only fury remained. Fury directed right at  _ him. _

“I didn’t do anything,” Tsuna cried and waved his empty hands pleadingly at the glaring girl, “I didn’t do anything to Lambo, I swea-” 

_ Thud! _ Hibari’s tonfa slammed into the back of Risa’s skull. 

It was a blow hard enough to tear awareness away from her, the price of her moment of inattention. Her gaze grew vacant, the bright green dimming to a duller shade as her consciousness slipped away. Her eyes fluttered shut. The step she was taking towards Tsuna halted midway, her legs crumbling underneath her until instead of walking, her body simply pitched forward, careening towards the hallway ground facefirst. 

The students lining the halls held their breaths as she fell, none of them moving but hoping that somebody- anybody- would stop the girl from hitting the ground. Tsuna didn’t move either, legs frozen in place and Reborn’s weight oddly absent from his shoulder. Yamamoto’s arm moved from his shoulder and his body shifted, subconsciously preparing himself to leap forward to catch her. 

It wasn’t until he heard a pained, “ _ Risa,”  _ slipping out of Gokudera’s mouth, as his friend’s body tensed and prepared to jump forward, that Tsuna found it in himself to  _ move. _ He choked down his fear and lunged forward at the same time his friends did. Despite not being as fast as Yamamoto or as agile as Gokudera, it was still him that reached her first, skidding on his knees across the tile and catching Risa before she could hit the ground. 

He heard surprised voices at his actions, and the loud clamor in the hallways rose again within seconds. The voices nearly drowned out the sound of the late bell for their next class. 

“Is that Dame Tsuna?” “What does he think he’s doing?” “Sawada caught her?”

“Herbivore,” a smooth voice said, cutting through the sound of the students speaking in the hallway with ease. Every cell in his body trembled at the thought but Tsuna looked up at Hibari-san regardless. 

The prefect cut an imposing figure. He stood tall over Tsuna, grey eyes sharp and piercing as they flicked from him to Risa’s unconscious figure on his lap. He slid his tonfa back into their sheaths at his sides, and tilted his head slightly. “Take the stubborn herbivore to the infirmary.”

“Eh!? You want  _ me _ to do that!?” He exclaimed eloquently, eyes wide and heart pounding in terror inside his chest. Hibari-san paused in dusting his immaculate shirt, cocking his head to meet Tsuna’s eyes once more. 

“Do I have to repeat myself?”

Tsuna shook his head violently, nearly biting his tongue at the action. “No, no, no! You don’t have to.” He laughed nervously, “I’ll take her there right now!”

Hibari-san didn’t deign him with any more attention, switching his gaze instead to the crowds of students surrounding him. The smile that crossed his face was dangerous, a sign that Tsuna should get going, so he nudged Gokudera from where he stared down at Risa’s bruised face with an unreadable expression and beckoned Yamamoto over. The threat of Hibari-san’s fury was the only reason that Gokudera and Yamamoto didn’t argue when Tsuna offered to carry her to their destination. (Although, he offered more because of Reborn’s whispered threat into his ear, than for any altruism he may have felt.) 

Then, they set off to the infirmary in a hurry- barely escaping from the crowded halls as Hibari-san started ‘biting’ the students to death for not only crowding in the hallways around him, but for being tardy to their next class. 

This isn’t what he hoped his day would turn out like, Tsuna moped as moved towards the infirmary, sweat beading on his face and the unconscious girl on his back weighing more than she appeared at first glance. The whole mafia thing was getting out of hand, he thought, heaving a wheezy sigh. 

It was all Reborn’s fault.

* * *

“ _ Lambo, your sister loves you,”  _ she sang, stretching out the words as she tickled her little brother, “ _ She loves you very much.” _ The memory was fuzzy around the edges, the sound of Lambo's clear laughter and that of her own voice more echoey than filled with substance. Like it wasn’t something that could ever be truly replicated by her mind or memories even.

_ “I'll keep you safe for as long as I can,”  _ she murmured, brushing her thumb against her brother's flushed cheek and meeting his bright eyes with her own, “ _ Just like I promised Mama I would.”  _

_ “Sorella, would Mama love me too?” _

And before she could answer, declare her ‘ _ of course, Lambo’ _ the dream shifted, spinning on its axis until it was just her in the darkness, frantically looking for the form of her younger brother around her. 

“ _ Lambo?”  _ She called, desperation laced through her voice,“ _ Lambo, where are you?”  _

“ _ Risa?”  _ Came a voice from the darkness, muffled and scared, she jerked in that direction, struggling through the miasma of blackness clinging to her body. Her hand reached out, fingertips stretched as far as they could go but they touched nothing. The darkness swirled like water around her hand, spilling like mist through her fingers. “ _ Risa!”  _ The voice called once more, this time sounding more like a sob than anything else. 

“ _ Lambo!”  _ She cried into the inkyness and struggled against the invisible binds holding her in place. 

She struggled and fought until-

_ the dream shattered _

-her eyes snapped open and she flew upright, headbutting the man hovering over her with a painful  _ clack _ . 

She yelped in surprise and pain, plopping back to the bed, startled. Her gaze darted from side to side, hand raised to her throbbing forehead, wincing at the pain rushing through her entire body. The room was white and smelled of antiseptic.  _ Either an infirmary or the hospital, _ she thought and cautiously sat back up, dropping her hands from her head in case she needed to fight her way out of this.

The man in front of her cradled his face in both hands, groaning in pain and voicing his complaints loudly. Risa scanned him quickly, taking in the scruffy facial hair, the shaggy brown hair, the neat white doctor’s coat. His face was familiar but she couldn’t quite place it. It was something that she would ponder after she made sure she wasn’t being held captive. 

The last place she remembered being was at the school she had entered in search for directions, so chances were that she was in the school infirmary. Which was better than the hospital since it meant less legal questions, but that meant she was still at the same school as that bloodthirsty boy from earlier. 

Her eyes flicked away, picking up the presence of two boys seated on the far side of the room, on a cluster of flimsy plastic chairs just across from the cot she had woken on. Judging from the same uniforms that they wore, they were students at this school. How the hell they survived their school day without running into the violent asshole that attacked her was something that she wondered but couldn’t spend time dwelling on. 

Not with more important things to focus on. 

The two boys had looked up from the cards in their hands, gazes darting over to her at the doctor’s yelp of pain. They wore two different expressions on their faces at the sight of her awake and aware. One of them was much more pleasant than the other, while the other, reminded her more of a terrified animal than a human being. She watched them carefully as they stood up from their seats. 

“You’re finally awake!” One of the boys said, the taller of the two- the one with his body held lax. He ran his hand through his spiky black hair and smiled at her, a disarming grin that covered most of his face. 

His grey eyes were bright and friendly, though there was something cautious in them that she would have overlooked if not for the angle of his body. It was  _ too  _ casual. Almost as if the way he held himself between her and the boy beside him was nothing more than a coincidence- wary of her but not letting her see just how much. Not that he was good at the deception he was unconsciously attempting, only making it more obvious who the easiest target between the two boys was. 

Risa cast her gaze to the other one. 

He didn’t look like anything special. Far too plain, if anything, pale with fear even though she hadn’t done anything to him besides glare at him earlier. This was the boy that had distracted her from her earlier fight, spouting words about Lambo that had captured the entirety of her attention- until she was struck down as a result. 

The way the first boy was willing to protect him with his body showed that there was something about him that was important enough to keep safe- either that or his friend was the foolishly loyal kind, the kind willing to defend first and ask questions first. His eyes were wide as they looked at her, body tense and hunched defensively onto itself as if she was going to leap off the bed to attack him.

It raised more questions than answers.

Normal people didn’t expect to be targeted by complete strangers. Normal people didn’t look wary, resigned in the same way prey knew it would one day be hunted by those stronger than themselves. 

Was it the way he gave off an aura that just screamed ‘ _ target’ _ , or was it just how he looked- with fluffy hair, wide-eyes, his slouched back, that left her restless; as if someone attacking him was only a matter of time instead of the rare possibility it should be for civilians. 

Being surrounded by unknowns put her on edge. Reminded her of every hostile situation she had been taught to avoid long before she began taking missions to start with. At least none of them had tried to attack her yet. After that brutal beat down from that violent teenager earlier, she wasn’t in any state to fight again- even though she wouldn’t hesitate to defend herself if it came down to it. 

“Glad you’re energetic enough to throw that lovely head of yours around,” the doctor said, smile growing wide until there was almost something unsettling about the expression. Risa jerked back in surprise at the shift and glowered at the doctor. “I might have to do a full-body physical to make sure there was no permanent damage.” His hands groped the air in front of him. 

Risa flinched. 

“Touch me and I’ll break your nose,” She promised, scooting away from him and trying to keep the panic budding in her chest off her face. “Stay away from me, creep.”

The black-haired boy laughed loudly, while the spiky brown-haired one winced at her blunt comment. It seemed that this sort of behavior from the doctor happened often enough that calling him a ‘creep’ didn’t cause a larger reaction from the duo. 

The doctor wilted at her words, shaking his head as he proclaimed his innocent reasoning for needing to 'examine' her. Risa’s gaze darted across the room, searching for an escape route to use if the man came too close to her. There was an absence in her clothing, a lack of the familiar weight, that told her she had been searched and most of her weapons found. 

Most. Just not all. 

The thought of being unconscious in front of the perverted doctor made her stomach churn with nausea, and Risa subtly shifted her legs, hoping god that she wouldn’t feel an ache between her thighs that hadn’t been there before. There was nothing, except the aches from her fight earlier. 

The relief dragged a sigh out her, and a tension she hadn’t noticed melted out of her shoulders. 

“I took the liberty to store your  _ special  _ belongings in a safe place, but other than that, we’ve just been waiting for you to wake,” the doctor said and Risa’s gaze snapped back to his face. 

His chin was propped up on his palm, elbow creasing the white sheets at the foot of her bed- but while his eyes were half-lidded, almost lazily, his gaze was knowing. “We’re not going to hurt you unless you prove to be an enemy, understand? For now, I’ll just hold on to your weapons, but I’ll be sure to give them back when we’re sure you’re not a threat.”

“Hieee!?” The short, scared boy cried out, “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Shamal-san? All those weapons… What if she’s here to seriously hurt someone? I don’t want to face someone that gets into fights with Hibari-san! Wouldn’t it be safer to just send her away?”

Risa scowled, “If I wanted to hurt any of you I would have already done it, not waited around until after a psycho attacked me, and a pervert disarmed me in my sleep.” Her eyes narrowed, gaze cold and unwavering from the boy who had spoken. “I’m not here to get involved in whatever you did to piss the mafia off. I’m here for one thing and one thing only, and that’s-”

_ ‘-Lambo _ ,’ she didn’t get to say, because above them, the air vent cover rattled and swung open like a trapdoor. And from the suddenly open air vent fell a small figure, clothed in a pristine three-piece suit and gracefully landing atop of the scared boy’s head. The words died in her throat.

-“ _ They look like children,” Uncle had told her once, “But the moment you see them in person, you’ll know just what they are, The Strongest in the World, the-” _

“Arcobaleno,” she whispered, voice shaking and palms suddenly clammy.

He was smaller than she imagined he would be considering the weight his presence carried-  _ like having a gun with a single round in the chamber forced down her throat, finger loose on the trigger but liable to change on a whim. _ But with the yellow ribbon looped around the fedora on his head and the bright green chameleon resting on the brim of his hat, there was no mistaking who the newcomer may be. 

The Arcobaleno Reborn. The World’s Greatest Hitman. 

“Risa Bovino,” he said in a clear childish voice, fedora tilted downward, face cast in shadow, though, even through the darkness she still felt his eyes on her. It was like he was stripping her bare, cutting down to the core of who she was with a single glance. “What is the Bovino’s prodigious heir doing in Namimori?” 

Her gaze skittered away from the Arcobaleno’s dark eyes and onto a spot of water damage on the wallpaper. Her heart shot into overdrive. She was terrified. None of the stories about him had done him any justice. None of those whispered rumors about the man had done anything to prepare her for a real face-to-face meeting. She swallowed dryly and curled her shaking fingers into the bedsheets of the infirmary cot, feeling the weight of those black eyes on her. 

“I’m not here to interfere with whatever you’re doing, Arcobaleno,” she said, voice shakier and raspier than she would have liked. “I’m here for Lambo. That’s all.”

“Lambo?” The boy serving as the hitman’s perch repeated blankly, “You’re here to take him home?”

Risa nodded, twisting the sheets around her fingers. “He’s just a kid, he shouldn’t have been sent on a mission like this to begin with. I’m here to take him with me.” 

“How honorable coming all this way for your brother,” Reborn said, lips curled up in a wry smile. His chubby fingers tilted his fedora away from his face, revealing jet black eyes that seemed to eat the light that reached them, “Unfortunately, you’ve wasted your time by coming here. As irritating as he may be, he won’t be going with you.”

The world froze. Her heart stopped beating in her chest. 

Her plans hinged on taking Lambo and running as far as she could, where not even the mafia could find them and Lambo could have the childhood he deserved- the one she hadn’t been able to have. Lambo was supposed to live a better life than she had, he was supposed to be free of the burden of their family name, of the bloodstained Mafia that they had been born into. She was supposed to free them both. 

“He’s my brother- a member of my famiglia. I can take him back home as is my right as the heir of the Bovino, even an Arcobaleno has no place interfering in family business,” she said, coldly, rage overtaking the terror and stiffening her spine, bringing her chin up to meet those black-hole eyes boldly. 

He didn’t look the slightest bit cowed. “Under normal circumstances that would be correct but…” He cocked his head to the side, unblinking, a small furrow between his brows. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, “I take it Lord Bovino didn’t make you aware of what’s happened, then.”

“What do you mean? What are you talking about!? Told me what?” She asked, eyes narrowing and any facade of decorum slipping from her face at his words. Something in her chest roared, stirred awake and screamed-  _ he’s mine, I have to protect him, I won’t let you take him away from me.  _ It was all she could do to not snarl at the World’s Greatest Hitman like a cornered animal, fear racing through her veins, despair looming ominously over her head like a damocles sword. 

_ (People like her never had a choice in their fates. ) _

She knew she didn’t want to hear his explanation.

She knew she didn’t want to hear what her Uncle had kept from her, of what deal he had struck with the devil in an infant’s body behind her back. 

_ (She didn’t want to know the truth. ) _

She knew it would destroy everything she’d planned for Lambo and herself, but nothing she could do would stop the truth from coming- because life hadn’t been kind to her since her mother died and there was no reason it would suddenly change its mind now; not when it would be so easy to destroy the hope she had. 

Reborn’s next words drove this point right into the marrow of her bones like needles of ice. 

It was agonizing. 

“By Right of Conquest and the Law of Victors upheld by Mafia Law, he is no longer the Bovino’s to claim,” he said, looking at her with something akin to pity, “Lambo Bovino belongs to the Vongola now. And that means he isn’t going  _ anywhere _ .”


	3. Memory 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The love of an older sister is something to behold, and sometimes, the past does not remain in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually love writing this character. I know she's kinda bitchy now, but it just makes me even more eager for the character development I have planned.

Risa was seven years old when her brother was born. 

May was coming to an end, the spring air warm with the hint of summer around the corner. The scent of lilacs filled the garden, mingling with the delicate smell of roses and the sweetness of freesias, perfuming the air with the heady odor of blooming flowers. It was Mama’s favorite time of the year, and by extension, Risa’s as well. They often walked through the sprawling paths of the garden together, Mama holding her hand and telling her of the vast world- of the countries and cities beyond Italy, beyond the Bovino manor walls. Risa could never get enough of Mama’s stories. 

But today, she was alone in the garden, no hand holding her own, stabbing at the grass with a fork she had smuggled out from the dining hall. Originally, she was going to show Mama a cool trick she had discovered, about how the electricity curved around her skin with a tingle when she struck the fork in the power outlets. 

Mama, however, had been unable to stay in the gardens for long. They had just reached the rosebushes when Mama froze. Her face had paled, lips parted in a cry of pain. She had folded onto herself, telling Risa to run and tell the maids that that baby was coming _now._

Risa had done so and had watched with fear as Mama was whisked away by the manor doctors, by maids with flushed cheeks and excited smiles at the baby that was to come. 

The baby. The same one that was hurting her mother right now. 

_"I hate that baby_ ," she confessed, talking to a particularly wriggly earthworm she had dug out of the ground, " _I hate that baby so much."_

 _"Now, Risa,"_ her Uncle's voice cut in, chiding and disappointed, " _why would you say something like that?"_

“ _Uncle,”_ she gasped and hurried to her feet, brushing the dirt from her dress and turning to him, eyes wide. Her hands came up to clutch at his coat anxiously, the fork forgotten in the dirt behind her, “Is _Mama okay?”_

He blinked and smiled affectionately, “ _Some of the world’s best doctors are in there with her now. Your Mama will be alright, I promise.”_ He pat her head gently, the weight of his hand on her hair comforting and warm. _“Now, what was that you were saying, you don't want a baby brother?”_

Risa scowled and kicked at the ground, the toes of her dress shoes scuffing against the grass, _“He's hurting Mama. I hate him. I didn’t want a little brother anyway. He’ll cry and poop and smell weird and I don't want him near me. Or Mama.”_

 _“Now, no need to be so grouchy,”_ he laughed, “ _I felt the same way when your mother was born. We're almost ten years apart, after all. You and Lambo are close to eight. It's no surprise you feel that way too.”_ He leaned in and whispered conspiringly, _“I didn’t like your mother until she was three months old, you know.”_

Risa scrunched up her nose, peering up at him in disbelief, “ _It's not the same! Mama is amazing and pretty and smart and strong; it's not the same at all, Uncle! I don’t want to get stuck taking care of a baby!”_ She moved away from him, crossing her arms in front of her chest and stomping heavily on the spring clovers. Her eyes flashed angrily, _“Why did Mama want another kid anyway? I’m right here, she doesn’t need another one.”_

 _“She’s not trying to replace you, Risa,”_ he assured her, _“The bond between siblings is a precious one, you’ll grow to love your brother, I promise. You won’t be able to imagine a life without him, this I swear. Plus,”_ he added with a sly glance at her, _“Your Mama will be depending on you to help take care of your baby brother, and you wouldn’t want to let her down, now would you?”_

 _“Well, if Mama needs my help there’s no way I can say no,”_ she grumbled, but argued no further, _“I am curious to see what a little brother is like, so I’ll give a shot at being a good sister,_ ” her eyes flicked up at him before quickly adding, “ _for Mama’s sake.”_

 _“Oh Risa,”_ Uncle said with an indulgent smile, _“I know you’ll be a great sister.”_

After Lambo was born, Mama called her into the room, beaming and sweaty but still beautiful, _“Risa, this is your little brother, his name is Lambo. He’s part of our family now, understand?”_

She pressed him into Risa’s nervous arms, showing her the correct way to hold him, even as Risa stared wide-eyed at the fussing baby in her arms. He was smaller than the machines she tinkered with over in the Research Wing, warmer too than the cold slabs of metal she was used to holding. 

He was so _small_. 

_“Was I this tiny?”_ She asked, unable to tear her eyes away from her little brother. 

Her mother laughed, “ _You were smaller than he is if you can believe it. I was almost scared to hold you, I thought I would hurt you by accident.”_

He had the same eyes as both her and Mama, bright green and curiously staring at her. His hair tickled her arm, black against the skin of her arm, wavy and soft. Risa could see her awestruck face in the reflection of his eyes. That may have been the moment she started to love her brother- with his mouth open in a gummy smile and a joyful gurgle bubbling from his lips. 

_“Lambo? You’re just a baby now, but you’re my brother and when you’re bigger we can play together.”_ She looked up at Mama, who watched the two of them with soft eyes, _“And I don’t know if I love you yet, but Uncle says that one day I’ll love you most in the world. So I’ll keep you safe until then, okay? Even then, I’ll always keep you safe because we’re family now, so I won’t ever leave you behind. I promise.”_

Mama smiled at her, and she beamed in response. 

In her arms, Lambo blew spit bubbles with his mouth, tiny hands clenched tightly around her finger. 

(Years later, Risa would look back and think it was the happiest day of her life.) 

.

.

. 

_“Is this the life you wanted us to have, Mama?”_ She would one day ask the cold tombstone, knees hugged tightly to her chest, vacant gaze staring down at the carpet of grass underfoot. It was spring perhaps, or maybe early summer. Lambo was still too young to roam around alone, three years old and growing fast, although it didn’t stop the toddler from doing his best to throw himself into the first sign of trouble. 

She had just killed again. 

His blood was still wet against her skin, splattered across her face. Her hands felt heavy with the phantom weight of the gun, with the sharp knife she had to use to finish the job when her aim did not strike true the first time. Risa tilted her chin up, green eyes meeting the endless azure overhead, there was no cloud in the sky, _“Or would you have wanted something better for us?”_

She thought of the warmth of her brother in her arms, of how his sparkling eyes reminded her of Mama, made her feel like she was home. She thought of how he said her name, stumbling over the R and calling her ‘ _’Isa”_ , too young to say the word _sorella_ properly, but learning fast enough that he was sure to have it down in a few months, if that. She thought of how he always begged for her to carry him, how it was a request that filled her with warmth- with love but now grief, at the thought of touching Lambo with the same hands that…

She ducked her head, reaching to brush her hands across the stone but halting inches away, unable to stand the thought of soiling the grave with her filthy hands.

There was blood sunken into the crescents of her nails. They were the hands of a killer, of a Hitman. How could she lay her sullied hands upon her precious brother again? How could she touch him with the same hands that stole a life away for money and not feel sick to her stomach? 

_“I don’t know what you would have wanted,”_ she said, blinking quickly against the tears building in her vision, “ _but do you think, Mama, that you could forgive me if I want him to live a different life than this?”_

There was no reply from the dead, and in the silence of her mother’s grave, Risa wondered why her heart filled with disappointment. 

(Years later, staring into the abyss eyes of the World’s Greatest Hitman, with the threat of permanent separation hanging over her head, Risa Bovino would choke on the memory of those words- of the promises she had made to her mother and her little brother alike- and sell her life for love. )

* * *

“The Vongola?” She whispered, eyes unable to look away from the Arcobaleno’s, “What are you saying?”

“What I’m saying is that Lambo has joined the Vogola’s famiglia. There is nothing for you here.” 

“You can’t take him!” She whispered, fear pounding in her chest but horror driving her forward, volume rising with every word she said, “You can’t steal my brother away from my family! It’s against the laws to take him without his family knowing, without _me_ or my Uncle agreeing to let him go. I never agreed to something like this, I would _never._ ” 

“Perhaps you wouldn’t, but your Uncle did,” Reborn said, “He offered up your brother to the Vongola after hearing what he’s been up to. Lambo has been quite the pest, you should feel honored that he’s under the protection of the Vongola now, considering your Uncle was so quick to be rid of him. I’m sure you can imagine what kind of danger an unwanted child would be in without the protection of a famiglia to keep him safe. The Vongola simply saved your brother from that fate.”

The blood drained from her face at his words. Her breathing quickened, her pulse hammering away frantically in her ears. “No, Uncle is a bastard but he wouldn’t-”

_Give Lambo away? Sell his nephew off? Secure his place as Boss by removing the only male heir from his way? Remove the only thing that Risa would value over all else? Making sure she had no reason in life but to serve her family, the last tie to her mother and lost brother? Get rid of the child he couldn’t stand?_

Her chest felt heavy. There were more reasons why her uncle would want Lambo gone than there were reasons to defend him. Tears stung in her eyes, betrayal cutting deeply despite how much she told herself she never cared about her Uncle or his approval at all. 

Everything she had done was for her brother. 

For her brother and the famiglia she would one day inherit; not because she still dreamt of the family the three of them could still build, not because she looked at her brother and her uncle and wanted nothing more than to go back to the life they all had when Mama was still alive. 

All the lives she had taken had been for a reason. All the death she had wrought had to be for _something_.

(Maybe, she thought, if she kept on telling herself that it would one day become the truth.) 

She forced herself to turn the despair into fury, to change the heaviness in her heart into a fuel that she could use to carry on. She could be sad later, not now. Not when the World’s Greatest Hitman was staring her down for a sign of weakness. Her nails cut into her palms until the torn flesh dripped blood onto the white sheets. She heard a yelp of shock, but ignored it, baring her teeth and glaring up at the Arcobaleno, “What did you promise him in exchange for my brother?”

Reborn did not reply immediately and his silence served to incense her further. 

“What did you offer him for my brother’s life!?” She snarled, sickened by the truth of her Uncle’s actions and what that meant for her future with Lambo, scared that they would steal her brother from her, “What did you consider the same worth as my brother’s life!?”

“N-now, I’m sure we can talk this out calmly,” the short, scaredy boy said, shaking hands held in front of him and looking so submissive that Risa wanted to punch him in the face. What right did he have to look so pathetic when it was _her_ life falling to pieces around her? “I’m sure Reborn didn’t mean anything offensive, Bovino-chan, I think you should calm down first-”

“I didn’t offer a single thing,” the Arcobaleno interrupted, “Your Uncle considered the chance for Lambo to join the Vogola family an honor enough after his continued defeats.”

“An honor!? Defeats!?” Risa howled, “He’s five years old! He’s barely old enough to wipe his own ass!”

Reborn gave her a closed lip smile, “That didn’t seem to matter to your Uncle.” 

“So if I defeat you, it’s my right as victor to claim him back?” Her words were desperate and her actions, even more so. Her hand reached into her mess of curls and grabbed ahold of one of the grenades hidden in her hair, ripping it from its hiding place and yanking out the pin with her teeth. She lunged, teeth bared, hand cocked back to throw the explosive. 

She flew from the bed, bringing her arm forward to complete the throw but- 

A sharp sting erupted in her neck, and her body went limp, the fingers curled around the grenade loosening and nearly dropping it to the floor, blowing them _all_ up. But calloused fingers caught her hand in their own, wrapping around her fingers and the grenade at once, ensuring that the weapon didn’t slip from her unresponsive hands. She was caught in strong arms before she could collapse to the ground. 

“ _No_ ,” she cried out, straining against the invisible weight pressing against her body, “I have to win! I won’t leave Lambo here by himself, I won’t leave him behind- I _promised_.”

The doctor holding her stared down at her with pity, before turning his gaze up to the baby still perched on the boy who had shrieked at her sudden attack; the other boy, the smiley one, had slid in front of him defensively in a second, “That was cruel, even for you.”

“It was the truth.” Reborn’s words hung in the air, heavy, oppressive, ringing with a certainty that stopped her lungs from drawing any oxygen. “Lying to her about something like this would be cruel.”

“Look at the poor girl,” the doctor scoffed, “All she wants is her brother. At least grant her that much.”

“We both know that letting her see him is less kind.”

“Reborn,” the shorter boy suddenly cut in, uncharacteristically somber, “I don’t really understand what’s going on, and I’m really nervous trusting her since she _did_ just try blowing us all up. But I think everyone deserves the chance to see their family.”

“Please,” Risa begged, eyes glassy with tears she held back by sheer force of will, paralysed in the arms of the doctor. He propped her up so her neck didn’t simply loll back, and if she wasn’t so desperate to plead her case, the inability to move (to fight) would have made her sick to her stomach with more than just nausea. “I just want Lambo. That’s all I want, to stay with him and keep him safe. I’ll give you anything the Bovino has to offer, _just don’t take him away from me._ ”

“Lambo isn’t our hostage,” the boy said in her direction, as if trying to reassure her of the fact, before directing his words back to the Arcobaleno, “What’s wrong with letting them stay together, or just giving Lambo back? Family is the most important thing, you’ve said it yourself before, plus if Lambo has family to take him, isn’t it easier to just give him to them?”

“In that case, Dame-Tsuna,” Reborn stared at her, eyes as dark as ink and seeing right through her, seeing right into her heart. He seemed to find something that pleased him because a sudden, sharp grin cut across his face. “You wouldn’t mind if she joins your family, do you?”

“Hieeee!?”

“Eh?”

“Shamal, you can let her move now.” 

The doctor sighed and flicked a finger. Tingling spread from her neck, and little by little, her body was hers to control once more. She jerked away from the man when she had the chance. Stepping away from all of them, back towards the bed she had leapt from in her rush to attack the Arcobaleno. 

Reborn cocked his head, fedora casting his eyes into shadow. The self-satisfied smirk on his face, however, was impossible to miss. “Risa Bovino, you offered anything the Bovino family had to give so you could stay by Lambo’s side- so what we’ll take from the Bovino is one single thing. _You_.”

He paused for dramatic effect, “Swear your fealty to the Vongola Decimo, Sawada Tsunayoshi, and you can stay by your brother’s side as long as you want. Here. In Namimori. As a member of Tsuna’s family.” 

Risa was baffled. His family? Reborn wanted to secure an… engagement? A blush rose in her cheeks and she shook her head. No, he said Vongola Decimo. He meant family as in famiglia. As in mafia family. 

“I… Decimo… What!?” She sputtered in disbelief, mind spinning at the illusion of choice placed before her. Her brother or her family? There was no hesitation in what Risa would choose, both she and the Arcobaleno knew it. 

Did Reborn want the assurance that the Bovino would be loyal to no one but the Vongola, especially once she took over the family, especially if she nursed the hatred she felt towards the famiglia that had stolen her brother away? 

By allowing her to choose between her famiglia and her brother, he was putting the power in her hands and washing the Vongola of the consequences of taking Lambo, either she swore loyalty and forgave them; or Risa would lose Lambo, with no knowledge of what would happen to him once she was forced away. His life would hang over her head, a threat to keep her in place without the assurance that he was truly alive and well. 

A part of her felt a pang at the thought of leaving behind the place she had known her entire life, even if she had always planned to leave it and run with Lambo. But the choices given to her weren’t much choices at all, just a single one masquerading as mercy. 

How could she choose anything that would separate Lambo and her? 

That was the thing. She couldn’t. 

There was only one path left to her, and that was to duck her head, swallow her pride and hand herself over to the Vongola. She took shaky steps until she was in front of the black haired boy, moving until she was at an angle where both boys were visible to her. She wasn’t sure which of them was the Vongola Decimo, but she couldn’t risk offending either of them.

She pressed her right hand over her heart, slowly dropping to her knees in front of them, gritting her teeth at the submissive action. She met both of their eyes, but her gaze was held in place by the smaller boy, a horrified light visible in those hazel eyes. This, she thought, must be Tsunayoshi. The black-haired boy didn’t have as much understanding of what was going on as the other one did.

Raising her chin in a single moment of prideful defiance, she held Tsunayoshi’s gaze for a long moment before dropping her eyes to stare intently at the stained floor. In theory, she knew exactly what she had to say, but never in her life did she imagine she would be in a situation where she had to use those words. 

Words were suddenly hard to shape on her tongue but she managed to choke them out, “I, Risa Bovino, as the heir and future boss of the Bovino famiglia, swear fealty to Sawada Tsunayoshi, the Vongola Decimo, under the condition that I will not be separated from my brother again- and that the Vongola will offer its protection to him from anyone that seeks to do him harm. I, as the future boss of the Bovino swear that the Vongola Decimo will have the loyalty of the Bovino family from here on forth.”

“Does the Vongola Decimo, Sawada Tsunayoshi, accept this oath of fealty and the conditions that come with it?” Here she finally glanced back up, meeting wide hazel ones that flinched at the intensity of her gaze. She did not look away from him, green eyes seeming to glow as she waited for his response. 

Reborn swatted at Tsunayoshi’s head, smacking him out his daze, “Do you accept, Dame-Tsuna?”

“I-I… There’s no way I can-” Reborn hit him harder his time, scowling. 

“ _Do you accept, Dame-Tsuna?”_

Finally, after what felt like an agonizingly long time, the boy nodded. 

But it was enough to bind her to him under the Mafia Laws of fealty. Risa Bovino now belonged to the Vongola Decimo, and as long as she was heir, so did her famiglia in the future. He had just chained Risa to him until one of them died, she thought bitterly, and the stupid boy didn’t even know it. 

Tsunayoshi looked petrified, face ashen and knees knocking together in fear. He looked like the furthest thing from a Boss, like a strong breeze would push him over without even trying. This was the person she had sold herself to? This was the person Reborn had wanted her to serve in exchange for her brother?

How was there any way that this kid had a famiglia of his own? 

Risa forced herself to push those thoughts away. 

He _had_ given her the chance to stay with Lambo, no matter how badly his suggestion had backfired on her. Her freedom may be gone, but at least she had her brother.

His friend, on the other hand, looked absolutely delighted by the change of events, beaming at her like a long-lost friend. “You’re going to join us in the mafia game, Lambo’s sister?”

“Mafia… game.” She repeated lamely, “You think the mafia is… a game?”

He laughed and sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “I’ll admit I don’t know a lot about it, but it’s been pretty neat so far. The kid has really made things exciting around here. It’ll be nice to have someone else to play with us, the more the merrier, right!?”

The kid being… Reborn? She glanced at the Hitman, before quickly averting her eyes. She really didn’t want to know the kind of chaos someone so powerful and reputable was capable of creating in such a sleepy town as this one. Although, considering she had just tied herself to this sleepy town and the boy staring at her with fear and resignation, Risa supposed she was going to find out firsthand. 

“I guess so,” she muttered in response, slowly getting to her feet. She tilted her head at the doctor, exhausted by the unexpected events that greeted her after waking up. “Can I have my stuff back?”

“Your things should be on their way as we speak,” Reborn said with a cheerful smile, as if he hadn’t just forced her into a family she didn’t want to be part of after delivering the news that her Uncle had betrayed her trust. “In fact, they should be here any second now-”

Just then, the door slid open harshly, slamming into the wooden frame with a loud _bang_. 

“Oi! Why am I the only one that had to carry all shit here!? You could have made yourself useful, baseball idiot, and helped! This crap is-” the words came to a sudden halt as their speaker saw her. 

Risa’s eyes grew wide. All the air whooshed out of her lungs, leaving her breathless in surprise. She drank in the sight of the boy in front of her, a flush to his cheeks, gauntness filling out and nearly gone, eyes bright even with his nose scrunched up in anger. 

Her heart stuttered and dropped like an anchor from her chest, down to the ground where she had just kneeled and swore her loyalty to a complete stranger. “ _Hayato? Is that you?”_

And like a person staring down the wrong end of a gun barrel, with dread and resignation, Hayato Gokudera, a person that Risa had never thought she would see again- flinched and met her startled gaze in defeat. “Risa,” he replied with a grimace, bright eyes dimming into something more subdued at the sight of her, “We need to talk.”

* * *

Of all the things she expected to await her in Japan, seeing a ghost wasn’t one of them. 

“We need to talk,” he said; as if that sentence was enough to clear up the years of anguish she had experienced at his disappearance- as if she could put to words the scrambled mess of emotions she was feeling, as if she could talk herself into understanding that he had been alive this whole time. 

“Hayato, I-” He sent her a sharp glance. One that clearly said, _not now._ The words froze in her throat.

But when was the right time for what she wanted to say? When was the right time to ask him what he was doing here- when she had spent the past two years thinking something terrible had befallen him, when she was suddenly faced by a version of her friend that wanted nothing to do with her. 

“I want to hear this,” Reborn said, a dangerous curiosity alight in his eyes as he looked between them. “I’m interested to hear how you two know each other- I’m sure Tsuna is dying of curiosity as well.”

Tsunayoshi looked panicked, he shook his head and waved his hands defensively. “I don’t need to hear this, we can give you guys some privacy if you want-” 

“But you’re curious too,” Small fists yanked on brown hair, _hard_. “Aren’t you Tsuna?”

“ _Owww, Reborn please let go-”_

“I’m sorry Tsuna,” the black-haired kid said, laughing sheepishly, “But I kinda want to know how they know each other. This feels like a live-action soap opera doesn’t it? Isn’t that exciting!?”

“But it’s rude to just- _You’re going to rip out my hair-_ listen into a personal conversation! Gokudera-san, Bovino-chan, you don’t have to talk about this in front of us if you don’t want to. _”_

“Hayato knew a girl this cute and never mentioned it?” The perverted doctor muttered from behind her, “That damn brat.” Risa heard the bickering, could see the flailing in her peripheral vision- but her eyes were locked on another set of green eyes, ones she had never thought she would see again.

 _Hayato_ , she wanted to say, _where did you go back then? Was it me? Was that why you left?_

Instead, she bit her tongue, catching the way Hayato’s gaze flicked over to her new Boss- taking note of how his eyes softened at Tsunayoshi’s attempts at politeness. Was she nothing in comparison to this frightened boy, what was so special about him that an Arcobaleno vouched for him- that Hayato looked to him in matters between Risa and himself? 

Something in her stomach twisted. Jealousy rose up her throat, leaving her mouth bitter with the flavor of envy. She used it to coat her words in saccharine poison, trying to hide the hurt Hayato’s absentminded devotion brought to her. Her eyes caught his once more, narrowing and growing cold, while her words were directed to Reborn and the bumbling boy under him. 

“Well,” she drawled, “It sure is a long story, isn’t it, _Gokudera-san._ ”

A look of horror bloomed in his gaze. Risa curled her lips into a smile, fluttering her eyes and casting a peek at Tsunayoshi through her lashes. He stared at her, unsure whether to let her continue or not, she could see it on his face. 

“But I can’t just leave the Vongola Decimo waiting in suspense! Especially now that he so _graciously_ allowed me into his family.” At this, Tsunayoshi flinched and Hayato reeled back as if struck. 

“T-tenth, is that true? You accepted her into your family?” 

“It’s complicated,” Tsunayoshi groaned, rubbing a hand across his face, “It has to do with Lambo and her Uncle and-” he continued on, explaining himself as if he wasn’t the heir to Italy’s most powerful mafia family. 

_How pathetic_ , she thought, stopping her lip from curling in distaste by sheer willpower. Would her entire life be wasted following a leader she couldn’t find it in herself to respect? What did that say about her, that all her potential had been tied to a boy who couldn’t meet her eyes for long?

Reborn’s black eyes bored into her knowingly, but this time- with her empty victory of staying by Lambo’s side even if it gave the chains around her a new name, with her lost and mourned childhood friend pushing her aside for stranger she had to swallow her pride and swear allegiance to- the press of his eyes was tolerable. 

Risa didn’t find it in herself to care what he thought of her at that moment. 

“So, _Gokudera-san_ , do you want to start this off?” She smiled again, this time with teeth. 

_“Or should I?”_


	4. Memory 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little switch of perspective will probably leave more questions than answers. 
> 
> (Or, Hayato was good at many things. Facing his demons was not one of them.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd cuz that's just me as a person. I didn't mean to jump to Hayato's pov so early, but I do love him (enough that in another life I ship him with Risa for sure) and his pov just seemed to flow much easier for me this chapter than either Tsuna or Risa. So, it's Hayato's turn! 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy! C:

They first met behind the dumpsters of a filthy back alley, children already dirtied in the underbelly of society. It was the first time he had killed someone. He was 11 years old.

When he decided to use explosives as his signature weapon, he hadn’t originally considered anything beyond the fact that he liked the explosions, the destruction that something so small could cause. He didn’t think it would be like this when actually _used_ them; that there would be so much blood and viscera, that it would stink like charred meat and burnt fabric. 

The blood had seeped into his clothes, the stench hung heavy over him, it was sticky and quickly cooling on his skin. It made him sick to his stomach- all of it. The smell, the feeling, the sight of it drying under his nails; they made Hayato gag, doubling over to heave in a corner until what little he had eaten was choked back up. 

He had made sure he was alone. Unseen. He was an aspiring hitman, starting from the very bottom of the food chain- showing any form of weakness, even this early on, was something that would be exploited without mercy if it was noticed. He couldn’t afford for anyone to take him as a joke, not when he needed these bloody jobs to survive without help from _that man_. Not when he swore to himself to never go back to that mansion again. 

Hayato had made sure he was alone and well hidden, which is why he was so startled when a voice spoke up from behind him. 

“Have you tried putting your head between your knees and breathing slowly? It helps with the nausea, trust me.”

He whirled around, queasiness growing stronger at the sudden movement, shaking hands reaching to pull out a stick of dynamite. He held a lighter close to the fuse but stopped, a threat and warning in a single action. The girl who had spoken tilted her head in curiosity, glancing between him and the bomb in his hand. She didn’t seem spooked by it, but a wary glint in her eyes proved she knew the danger he wielded. 

“Who are you?” He demanded, breathing through his mouth shallowly when he caught a whiff of blood once more. Nausea thickened his saliva. The taste of bile clung to the inside of his mouth. He almost threw up again right there and then, choking back the vomit that wanted to come up and trying his damned hardest to ensure this stranger didn’t see just how ill he felt. 

“Do you really have to threaten me right now? I’m only trying to help you.”

He glared. “That doesn’t answer the question. Who are you? Did you follow me here?”

The girl’s gaze lingered on his lighter, green eyes following every flicker and sway of the flame. “I saw you here and wanted to make sure you were alright,” she said slowly, “I didn’t follow you, swear.”

Hayato wasn’t naive enough to trust that without proof. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“I… don’t have any evidence,” a pause, “But that’s only because I found you by accident! I can go away if it makes you feel better, just… _please_ don’t blow us both up.”

He stared her down, considering, when a sudden breeze blew the heavy iron of blood toward him, the source, the girl in front of him. His mouth opened to speak again, to tell her to back up before he blew them both up; to tell her that she wouldn’t fool him that easily-

Only, when his mouth opened he threw up instead. 

He fumbled the lighter and the bomb, both dropping from his hands, far apart enough that there was no risk of accidental ignition. His hands wrapped around his stomach instead, eyes watery but trying his damned hardest to keep the girl in his line of sight.

Her nose had scrunched up, a grimace pasted across her face- but she didn't move away, instead taking slow, careful steps toward him. 

"Get-" he panted, forcing out the words between his heaving, "-away from me."

She didn't stop, fingers curling around his bicep, ignoring the baring of his teeth and the warning in his eyes. She guided him away from his vomit, to the opposite side of the alley, next to the walls.

She let go of him and sat down, back against the wall, gesturing to the empty space besides her. "Sit down. I won't hurt you."

His stomach was still churning, but he found the energy to scoff. "As if you could hurt me."

Still, he hesitated for a moment longer before finally giving in. The world continued to spin violently as he settled on the grimy floor, bile rising in his throat once more. The queasiness wasn't fading, brought back to the forefront whenever he glanced at his stained fingers, whenever he breathed through his nose.

A hand forced his head down between his knees, an irritated sigh filling the air besides him. "You're so _annoying._ Do you have to be so freaking stubborn about everything I tell you?"

" _Shut_ _up_!" He snapped back, breathing a bit more even now- making it easier to breathe through the nausea. He could feel himself shaking and felt humiliated, he wasn't supposed to let anyone see him like this. He was supposed to go through this alone, what was he to do with his weakness visible to anyone who saw him? 

Then, the hand still on his head began to move. 

A jolt went through him, his heart jumping to his throat in fear. He was an _idiot_ , sitting here like a sitting duck with a stranger next to him, as if this world he had entered didn't paint a target of blood on him, as if this girl couldn't easily _kill_ him in this moment of inattention and-

Fingers brushed through his hair, a soft, gentle motion that froze every thought in his mind. Every muscle in his body was tense, held taut with nervous energy. "What are you-"

"I have a little brother," she said, fingers still raking through his hair, voice softer now than before, "Whenever he feels bad, or has a nightmare, I pet his hair until he calms down."

A little brother, he thought and tried not to think of his own sister. "I'm not your brother," he snarled.

"No, you're not." Here she hesitated for a moment, before adding, "He's just a baby, see, and he's much cuter than a grouchy boy like you." He made an offended sound but she ignored it. 

"He just turned three last month, but sometimes he's so smart it feels like he's older. He likes cows, which is pretty ironic, considering- well, that's not really important and-"

"Look girl," he growled, used to being ignored but not by anyone his age, "I don't know why you think I care but-" She yanked on his hair with a loud ' _Shh'_ , not hard enough to hurt, but firmly enough to startle him. 

"It's rude to interrupt someone," she said, as if she herself hadn't just interrupted him. 

"You _just_ did it to me!" He snapped back.

"It doesn't count, since I was talking first."

" _Yes it does!"_

"It really doesn't. "

" _How is it any different!?"_

He heard the smirk in her voice. "I just told you why." Hayato felt his blood pressure soar. 

" _You little asshole,"_ he said, " _I swear I'm going to-"_

She sighed and dropped her hand away from his head, dropping on her lap with a soft rustle of fabric. She ignored his threats, his insults, and waited until he paused to breathe before asking him, in a very soft voice, "Do you feel better now?"

He stalled, snapping his chin up to look at her. She wasn't looking at him, head tilted back against the wall, eyes shut. Seeing her now, closer than before, he could make out the speckling of red across her arms, the blotches of blood darkening the black of her shirt. 

Her hair went past her shoulders, thick black curls spiralled down, framing her face. There were parts of it that looked matted, strands glued together with what he could guess was blood. He didn't recognize her face, nor did he see an insignia to mark her as a member of a specific gang. A family then? Or perhaps another lone hitman like him.

He decided to ignore her question. 

They were both quiet after that. Hayato tried not to think of the fact that he had yet to move away, and that every so slowly, his shaking had stopped and his nausea had receded. 

"Next time, don't look at the blood." The girl said, cutting into the silence between them, "That's the worst part of it, I think, the blood."

"I use explosives, " he replied, "it's hard to keep the blood from getting everywhere. "

She chuckled, turning her head in his direction, a sliver of green peeking out at him from one eye. "I shoot 'em because I want to avoid a mess, and end up drenched either way because I'm a shitty shot. "

He fought back his own amusement. "You can't even follow your own advice."

She huffed, "Well, the other option is pretty obvious. Just keep a change of clothes nearby, so you can always change after. "

More clothes? He barely had enough to fill a suitcase, didn't have enough money to buy anything more than food and more materials for his bombs. Maybe now that he had started this bloody career for certain, he would be able to afford more than the bare necessities. 

"Why did you help me?" He asked, feeling an exhaustion settle on him. Tired of running from his father, tired of fighting for the simplest of things, tired of having so eagerly accepted the scrap of kindness this stranger had shown him.

"I don't really know," she said, letting out a long sigh, "But maybe it's to make myself feel better."

"Oh yeah?" He mused, choosing to swallow the questions that answer brought to him. He tilted his head up, catching a glimpse of the sky from the alleyway, a sliver only, but enough to see the clouds drift past. He let out a dry laugh, "What a selfish reason. "

"Don't worry," she said, "I know." 

.

.

.

The thing was, Hayato had tried to forget everything he had left behind in Italy: Bianchi and the poison performances; his father and the sin he had tried to keep hidden away; the mother he was too young to properly know but couldn’t bring himself to forget. 

Risa Bovino. 

The thing was, he didn’t mean to leave without another word- to vanish and flee without a trace, to disappear without a final farewell. The thing was, all he had done was to survive another day- to keep himself alive without having to return into his father’s grace, head bowed and mouth spitting out false platitudes so he was forgiven by a murderer. The thing was, between his freedom and a promise- between his loyalty and his doubt, between staying and running away… 

Hayato hadn’t had much of a choice at all.

How was someone supposed to act when their past chased them across an entire ocean, when everything they had tried to leave behind followed them like a curse, when their fresh start was soiled by something bloody and painful that couldn't leave well alone?

 _Risa Bovino_ , Hayato realized as he stared at her in horror, as he watched her look at Tenth with an innocent face and say his name like it was sugary poison, _is a demon in human skin._

He didn't know how he had never seen it before, how he could have missed something so malevolent and cruel hiding inside the girl he thought he knew, the girl who knew what she was doing by telling him to confess how they knew each other to the Tenth. 

How was he supposed to say, "I can't say we're friends after what I did, but for a little while it felt like we were. We met after I first killed someone, and she helped me feel better. Some stuff happened and now she hates my guts, funny right?"

No way in hell was he saying that to the Tenth, but there was also no way he was going to fully explain what that happened when Risa was sitting right there, waiting for an overdue explanation of why he had just vanished from her life until now.

He eyed her nervously. She wouldn't say anything, would she? The girl he had known had been a bit bratty but still kind, she would have never been this devious in getting him to admit to anything, in getting him to confess what he'd done to the Tenth, the one person that was willing- no, to the one person that had accepted him as he was and taken him in. 

This version of Risa was a stranger to him. Was this what just two years of separation did, or did something else happen to change her like this? 

No matter the reason, no matter what they may have been in the past, Hayato's loyalty was now with the Tenth. Risa popping up from the woodwork wasn't about to change that- which meant that even if it was her, he couldn't let her ruin what the Tenth thought of him by telling her side of things, probably full of personal bias and resentment at seeing him in Japan, alive and well. 

He cleared his throat, turning his gaze to the Tenth, eyes nervously flitting to Reborn on his head. His fingers itched for a cigarette, craving nicotine to ease this anxiety in his chest. "I-I'll be the one to explain things to the Tenth," he declared, not missing the flash of interest that crossed Reborns face and feeling his stomach flip at the intense stare boring into the side of his face, awaiting an answer as well. 

He gulped, took a few breaths to calm himself, and started to speak. 

Later, he would wonder if maybe he should have just admitted to everything then and there- if he hadn't done more harm than good in making clear that he wasn't going to talk about what had happened in the past. He wanted to keep the past away from him, he wanted to forget what he had left behind and the choices he had made when he was younger and scared and powerless. 

He didn't want to have to see what had become of what he had known, didn't want to talk about being so hungry he would dream of scraps, didn't want to explain that all that had mattered then was staying alive- above friendship and pride and honor. 

But it seemed keeping silent made things worse. 

Because the past had followed him to Japan and did not want to be put to rest. Because the past had a name and an attitude and anger and teeth. Because the past was Risa and his future was Tsuna and sometimes, when they would clash, Hayato wanted nothing more than to scream at them both to stop instead of just one. 

If he had explained things properly that day, would things have been easier to manage when it all started to get complicated? Would it have made their future better or worse?

Maybe in another world he spoke the entire truth that day. Maybe in another world he would be forgiven much sooner than in this one, in a future torn asunder, in a future that would not be, in a future that was bloody and ruined and painful.

In another world, perhaps… but not this one.

* * *

“Risa and I knew each other in Italy,” Hayato began grudgingly. A pause. He refused to look at Risa. "We were… allies for a time before I left the country."

Shamal-san had a startled expression. "Hayato had friends?" He questioned, more to himself than anyone else, voice a low mutter. They all heard him regardless. Yamamoto leaned closer, eyes sparkling at the drama unfolding in front of them. 

He shook his head a little too eagerly, " _Allies,"_ he corrected quickly, and he pretended he didn't see something wounded flash across Risa's face.

He clenched his jaw, taking a measured breath, carefully tapping his fingers on his thigh to the beat of the most soothing Chopin piece he could think of- trying to ignore the surge of guilt at the pain his white lie had caused, trying not to think of just why he had to lie to begin with.

"Is that the word?" She asked, voice soft. 

"You're lucky I'm even calling you an ally! I told you to leave me alone when we first met, did you forget that? Or did you tell yourself that I had changed my mind?"

"I just wanted to _help_ that first time _,"_ she said, "And every time after that I thought-"

"If you got it mixed up that's not my fault.” He forced himself to say, the words leaving a bitter flavor in his mouth, “It's your fault for being such a meddling woman in the first place."

Her eyes were distraught as she looked at him then, like someone who had just experienced the death of someone they had known, right before their eyes.

( _Although with Risa,_ he thought to himself, almost cruelly, _it wouldn't be the first time, would it?)_

The expression quickly hardened though, like all the tender bits had been shoved down, down, down and all that was left was the poker face of the Bovino prodigy. Until who was looking at him wasn't the girl in the alleyway but Thunderstorm Risa, a hitman who would one day grow to rival her namesake. 

"I see," she murmured in a deceptively calm voice. "I can understand where I got confused-" She smiled, a flash of teeth as her eyes burned with anger, an expression that made his stomach drop. "After all, just because you feed a stray doesn't mean it'll appreciate it, _right_?"

He felt himself violently flinch and inhaled sharply. "Did you think I was a fucking animal you could bring home and make into a pet!?" He snapped before he could stop himself, feeling his temper flare as if doused in gasoline- even knowing that yes, he had technically baited her into acting like this with his casual cruelty, with his blatant disregard of the friendship they had before.

It didn't make the words sting any less.

"Oh I don't know," she said, pretending to think on the question, "Animals usually have a bit more decorum. Maybe I should have wasted my time on one of those instead of something so eager to be leashed to whatever master flashes a pretty collar. At least animals have a sense of _loyalty_." She spat out the last word with a pointed glance between him and the Tenth, something that made his blood pressure soar. 

"Don't you dare look at the Tenth like that!" He shouted, forgetting entirely that he was supposed to be explaining things to the others in the room. "He's more of a Boss than you could ever be!"

" _Why_ would I _want_ to be like him?" Risa questioned, raising a brow, as if Tenth wasn’t the most incredible person to grace the planet. Tenth winced at the blunt words and Hayato almost foamed at the mouth at the audacity. 

He grabbed hold of a stick of dynamite and waved it at Risa menacingly, "Don't talk badly of the Tenth, you _cow!"_

“ _Please_ put the explosives away!” Tenth shrieked, jumping back and pressing his back to the wall, eyes wide and face pale. His cast a frantic glance at the door, inching towards it with the determination to run away. He had also looked consideringly at the window before seeming to remember they were on the second floor. Reborn looked unimpressed at this display of cowardice, materializing a gun out of wherever he hid his weapons and smacking Tenth in the head with it. 

“Mafia bosses don’t cower, Dame-Tsuna.” 

This all went ignored by both Hayato and Risa, who had fixated on a single part of what he had said. Her mouth fell open in scandalized surprise, more upset by the insult than the threat. 

_"Cow!?”_

The explosive was snatched out of his hand with a long-suffering sigh. Shamal pinched the end of the fuse so that the ember died between his fingers and then swatted him on the head with the now-harmless weapon. 

"Don't point weapons at women, Hayato."

"That's not a woman! That's a stupid _cow_ who dared disrespect the Tenth!"

_“Who are you calling a-"_

Hayato spun around and faced Tenth, who eyed them warily but had stopped trying to escape after Reborn’s smack. “It’s not your fault she doesn’t appreciate your generosity in taking her into your family, Tenth! Even though I really wish you hadn’t let her stay,” he muttered quickly before loudly declaring, “I’ll teach her to respect you if it’s the last thing I do!”

"Dame-Tsuna," Reborn said, hitting Tenth with the gun again, "You need to impress your new underling. Just because she already joined your family doesn't mean you can slack off. A good mafia boss earns the respect of his family. _He doesn’t_ _try to run away._ "

“But I don’t _want_ to be a mafia boss!” Tenth whined, rubbing at his head gingerly. His eyes widened at Reborn’s soft ‘ _oh?’_ seconds before there was a loud thunk. 

_That time sounded more painful than the others_ , Hayato thought as Tenth shrieked, shaking his head violently from side to side, trying to dislodge the aggressive toddler from his perch. 

It didn’t work. Another _thunk_. “Wait! Wait! Reborn, _please_ stop hitting me!” 

The baseball idiot laughed, a dumbass grin on his face, arms folded behind his head leisurely. “Wow, Tsuna! The kid is really getting you good, isn’t he?”

“This isn’t funny, Yamamoto!” Tenth cried, flailing his arms wildly, “Help me!” 

“Tenth! I’ll save you!” Hayato shouted, ready to leap into the fray to save his magnificent Boss. He shot a glare at the baseball idiot, warning him to keep away with his eyes. “I’ll show you that I’m the _only one_ worthy of being your right-hand man!”

Reborn glanced at him, fedora slanted over his eyes but gaze still peering into his soul. He cocked the gun in his small hands, “What was that?”

Hayato halted mid-step, cigarette dangling sadly from his lips, heart freezing in terror of that no-so-subtle threat. He grimaced, meeting Tenth’s desperate eyes and forcing himself to look away with a shouted, “Don’t worry Tenth! I’ll save you when I’m sure Reborn won’t shoot me if I try!”

“Hieeee!!?”

“Huh,” Shamal’s voice interrupted, sounding both put out and impressed at the same time. He was thoughtfully rubbing a hand across his chin. “That boy sure made a move on the Bovino heiress pretty quickly didn’t he? He’s pretty ballsy, isn’t he?”

Hayato froze and gawked at Shamal in surprise, snapping his head to the side so fast his neck popped. _Putting a move on-!?_ He did a double-take. He lowered his stick of TNT in shock- gaping at the sight of the baseball idiot chatting so casually with Risa. 

“See? I told you things have been exciting recently. You sure came at an interesting time, Lambo’s sister.” He said, turning to face Risa, who was still standing besides the infirmary bed, watching Tenth and Reborn interact with a befuddled expression. She pointedly ignored Hayato. 

Another _thunk,_ another “ _Hieeee!!!”_

“Exciting.” Risa replied, shifting her gaze to the baseball idiot, “I guess this would be considered exciting in a small town like this, wouldn’t it?”

Baseball idiot cocked his head to the side, “You’re from the city then?” 

A thoughtful expression crossed her face. “Well, I guess… kinda? The manor is on the outskirts of Florence, but I’ve spent a lot of time in the city itself. Lambo likes visiting the candy shops,” she added fondly, “So we go whenever I’m home.”

“Oh!” He laughed, “ So _you’re_ the reason he’s so obsessed with candy?”

“He’s not obsessed,” Risa said a little defensively, “All kids like candy. It’s normal.”

“Haha! Is that why he throws grenades when he doesn’t get any?” He said with a bright smile, eyes twinkling with amusement, “Or why he always shoots himself when we say no?”

Risa violently twitched. “Sorry but… did you say he _shoots himself?”_

“Yeah, he’s got a cool bazooka that-”

And that very moment, the window shattered in its frame. 

* * *

Was this an enemy? Was this someone out to get the Tenth while he was distracted? Or did Risa bring them here, lead them to the Tenth- this whole situation a trap, revenge for the truth of what had happened before he left, her confusion and desperation for an answer just a test to see if he would confess?

No matter what, he needed to protect the Tenth. It was his duty as his right-hand man and there would be nothing to stop him from fulfilling his purpose. Hayato clenched his jaw, seeing red at the mere thought of anyone trying to bring harm to his Boss. _Not even if it turned out Risa betrayed you guys already?_ His mind whispered traitorously, _Not even if she turned out to be the reason the Tenth is in danger?_

Even if it was her, even with the past they had shared all those years ago. 

He wouldn’t let anyone harm the Tenth.

Hayato cursed under his breath and kept Risa in his sight, using his cigarette to ignite the fuse of his explosives. The baseball idiot was too focused on the broken window to pay her any mind. But Hayato was ready to throw the dynamite at both intruder and at her, if she showed any sign of being in league with them. 

There was a tension in the room, ratcheting up with every second that nothing happened- with every moment that the fuses burned, with every moment that they waited for the intruder to show their face. 

Then finally- a fluffy, black puff poked out from below the windowsill. He exhaled a cloud of smoke, and in the window, a small body hoisted themselves up onto the sill. An out of breath but shrill voice shouted, “ _Reborn! I’m here to challenge you!”_

Hayato sighed and lost the tension in his body. He extinguished the fuses of his dynamite, taking a long drag of his cigarette. He watched Risa, this time curious to see what her reaction to that voice would be, to see how she would react to seeing _him_. A familiar, incredibly annoying someone- but not a real threat. 

They all recognized the intruder now, even Risa. 

"Lambo is here!" The toddler declared, dressed in his dumb looking cow print onesie, devious grin on his face, "I'll beat you this time, Reborn! I let you win all those other times, but I’m gonna be serious this time, so get ready to go down! This time you’ll be the stinky crybaby!"

“ _Bambino_ ?” Risa breathed, dazed, as if this was a dream that could fall apart at any moment. “ _Lambo_ ?” He could see how she twitched toward the window, how she took a few instinctive steps toward it- how her mask had slipped away and her face softened. She tucked away the grenade back into her hair, which, first of all, _how-_ and a smile bloomed across her face, changing her entire presence, making her almost glow.

Lambo’s head had snapped to look at her, reacting to the sound of her voice, eyes growing wide and halting mid-monologue. He didn’t say anything, just stared at Risa as she moved in front of him, smile soft and radiant. He didn’t react as she reached for him, fingers outstretched to brush across his cheek in reverence. There was a pause, in which all of them watched the two. 

It was sickeningly sweet… up until it wasn’t. 

.

.

.

“Who are you?” Lambo asked, finger rising to pick at his nose. Oblivious to the screech of everyone’s thoughts at the startling and unexpected words. The temperature of the room seemed to plummet, another kind of tension rising in the air as Lambo stared at the sister he claimed not to know. A glance at the Tenth showed a wide-eyed expression of horror, while the baseball idiot and Shamal shared something like pity in their gaze as they looked at Risa.

Reborn was as unreadable as ever.

Hayato felt himself grow very, _very_ still. 

Risa had frozen, fingers inches away from Lambo’s face. Her eyes were stricken, even as her lips were still upturned in a wobbly and forced smile, something more like a grimace. It was a jarring switch between the genuine joy from before, and somehow it made the scene worse to watch. 

“Lambo?” The waver was undeniable, voice breaking over his name. She almost sounded like a little kid herself. “Don’t you recognize your _sorella?”_

The stupid cow shook his head, looking at the ceiling and toying with the fabric of his onesie nervously; avoiding eye contact with any of them- which if Hayato was being honest, was so out of character that he couldn’t help but peer a bit closer at the brat. A small, teasing smile tugged at the edge of his lips, a mischievous glint sparkling in his eyes. 

_Oh_ , Hayato thought in what he told himself wasn’t relief, _it was just a dumb prank._

She stared at Lambo, chest heaving, breathing growing faster and faster. Erratic. Frantic. 

Her smile shattered entirely and recoiled hard enough for the metal to scrape loudly against the tile when she slammed into it forcefully. Hayato could see that Lambo was joking, but it was clear that she did not, because only moments later, Risa Bovino dropped heavily to the ground-

And began to _cry_. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, I appreciate it! I would also appreciate comments and kudos!  
> Lemme know what ya think of it so far!  
> If any of y'all wanna discuss my fics, or ask questions, feel free to hit me up on Tumblr at:
> 
> mortesangrizwrites.tumblr.com 
> 
> See ya next time!


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